Since that last posting, a lot has happened. We have moved into our home and gotten most of our goals in the home done. There are plenty more ideas on the backburners, It is just a matter of time and money.
As far as the kids, they have blossomed so much. In a few short weeks, I will have an adult daughter - a scary yet happy milestone. We have been working hard on getting ready for college and preparing her for life outside of our home in a few short months. We are all excited to see our little birdie leave the nest and see what kind of wonderful young woman she becomes. Her two younger sisters have made strides of their own in various aspects of their lives - social, academically, etc.
Finally, the real reason I have made the return to the blog. I have had several things happen over the last few months, most notably I was diagnosed with Diabetes. It was a very hard pill to swallow. More than a few swear words and tears happened during those first few weeks as I struggled with all the finger pricks and food changes. But after the initial shock, I was able to embrace the changes and I was rewarded. For years I have struggled with losing weight. These changes have lead to weight loss of 19.8 lbs in three months (actually in two months as I "took December off" due to so much sickness in our house).
As I have seen this transformation of my physical being, I wanted to do something for my emotional being. I was recently sharing a posting that I had written on my personal Facebook page with some loved ones. They told me it was so well written and so forth. That was when one of them reminded me that I always loved to write growing up and often dreamed of becoming a writer when I grew up. So there was the a-ha! moment.
So with the new year coming on, I sat down and wrote out a list of goals for the next year. I wasn't going to resolve to do generic items that I had failed to do in years past. Nope, I was going to be specific. Here is what that list consisted of:
- Putting myself first
- Learn to say "no"
- Date night out with the hubby once a month
- Girls night out with friends once a month
- Lose at least 35lbs
- Drop at least 2 pants sizes
- Participate in at least 4 Fun Runs
- Get more organized & stay that way
- Eat healthier (already been doing that but going to work on the family too!)
- Stay in touch better with family and friends
Putting myself first includes making time for things that I enjoy. My schedule is usually so jam-packed with therapy sessions, doctors appointments and social events for the kids that I literally have little time to do much else. After so many years of putting everyone and everything else first, I am reorganizing my priority list. The diagnosis of the Diabetes brought this need front and center. I had researched every little thing about the girls and their various special needs and fought to give them each the fullest, most successful life I could that I had neglected to give myself that same option. Not that my life isn't full and successful - totally the opposite! But I had often stepped away from opportunities or had opportunities slip away because I had to put the girls first and foremost. However, I believe that my girls have thrived so well in the last few years that the time is definitely right for me to start working hard on what I am going to be besides the advocate and primary caregiver. They each have their own levels of independence and don't require the extreme level of care that some of them required just a few short years ago. I have also realized that I do not have to do it all. There are plenty of others around us that are willing to help, all I had to do was ask. I had to relinquish some of the control that my control freak personality demanded that I have. And you know what? The girls are fine. I am fine. Nothing catastrophic has happened by letting others take bits of control in small aspects of their care and their lives.
So, this is where I am. Ready to take control of my life and make myself #1. Okay, so that isn't totally true. The kids will always be #1, but I will not always allow that to overshadow my desires and needs. I will consider myself equally as important as their needs and wants.
Plus, I can also use this blog to hopefully inspire others with anything from my life. Not only do I have my weight loss journey and the recipes that I will be posting, I have my girls accomplishments.
Like this.
Read the next blog entry to see what I am talking about ...
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